Help
Journal Entry: Wed Apr 23, 2008, 1:15 PM
So, my life is kinda complicated right now. I have a lot of things I once set out to get, but I'm not where I want to be. It seems the older I get the less doors are open to me. I am without a job right now and can't seem to find one that doesn't just kill me inside. So many jobs I have had have been under terrible management and bring nothing but stress and distraction into my life. I have finally found what makes me happy but it seems as though there are a lot of things that i am dependent on. photography is so expensive to get into yet no one wants to pay for the services I am willing to put so much time and effort into. I have finally found the art that seems to calm my soul but the problem is that it's not something I can do alone. I want photography to be my career. The problem is, I can't seem to find a decent job I can hold, I am in dept, I can't afford school, I don't know anyone in the industry and no one seems to really care about supporting my efforts. I'm sitting in my room right now, which as of lately is made up of a small bed, and a small studio set up of lights and a background. I have tried lately to devote myself to my photography. I sit and browse the internet for more information about photography, i post adds and classifieds, I try to make connections, but not many today are willing to make meaningful connections online with anyone at my level because of how many terrible assholes there are out there taking advantage of people. I feel like my whole life I've just been falling through cracks. High school didn't make any sense to me and I didn't have any support through it. i didn't really have any of this journal entry planned out when i started. so if it seems as though i am rambling, i am. I just wish that my parents would have been around a bit more, or that someone would have really told me how important college would have been, or someone would have told me my first car was a piece of shit and was over priced, or told me that no matter what the man at the bank said, there will be interest on all credit cards. I wish I could find a job to get through college. I wish a college would accept me. I wish I had real friends, the kind that are there because they know you need them not just cause you ask. I wish I had friends that didn't pretend to be busy or ignore my messages. I wish I was important enough to someone to not be so ignored. It's so terrible to wake up and just wish that some how my life will be fixed. some how I will get an opportunity to go to college for my photography. but i sit here, with no model, no car, no job, no real friends, no money, in dept, and no idea how i will survive. I know that I have more equipment then a lot of people, and I feel like a jackass complaining at all. but i'd give up all of my gear for some sort of path or goal or someone to help me along the way. well... this is the last time I am asking for help. It seems the more I ask the more emo everyone thinks I am and the less support I actually have. I wish I didn't have to seem so desperate some times.
- Listening to: the buzzing of my lights
- Watching: my empty studio
Devious Comments
--
Dan
--
"If I knew how to take a good photograph, I'd do it everytime." (Robert Doisneau)
--
Our website is now online - why not check it out? -> [link] <-
You have very interesting gallery
--
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor
without holding on
--
MURAT SAYGINER
www.muratsayginer.com
--
thank you stranger,
for your therapeutic smile.
to see what you show,
To satisfy my curiosity
and find some inspiration...
Love your work.
I salute you
--
I lost my muse...
I lost fuckin' everything
If you find my muse
GeT me
eVe
--
Toki not a BUMBLEBEE!!!
thanks for finding me, i love your gallery.
--
It's in the nature of men to create monsters,
and in the nature of monsters to destroy their makers.
--
.who.needs.action.when.you.got.words.
--
"That's like putting bread in a toaster, getting toast then wondering where the bread went."
~clintrussell's guide on spriting.
--
A New Day Will Dawn For Those Who Stand Long, And The Forrests Will Echo With Laughter
--
A New Day Will Dawn For Those Who Stand Long, And The Forrests Will Echo With Laughter
--
------------------------------------------------
ITs Me the One and Only! [link]
How are you?
--
To have thoughtfully thought through...
*********
*** nature is everything ***
--
art is a hammer to beat the world, not a mirror to reflect it
Vladmir Majakovskij
I support *deviant-ARCADE & Daily Deviations
I am a
--
www.petitescargot-photos.com
--
J.B. Lewis
My gallery: [link]
"There are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new." -- Anton Ego, "Ratatouille"
Previous Page123 Next Page